CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 44: If you're cooler than me, does that make me hotter than you?

I: Remember Bee, Ash's unwanted admirer?
II: Now she's telling Ash it's cold.
III: Despite encouraging Ash to hug her...
IV: ...INCENDIO, Bee! "Is it still cold now?"

CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 43: Please dont LEAF me alone

I: "Hey, Ash?" "OMG, the leaf just talked! Cool!"
II: The leaf, that cheating leaf, professes her love for Ash despite already being taken.
III: "If only I could be free..."
IV: Three weeks later, they rejoice; Mr. Corn has been harvested.

Lame leaf pun aside, was Ash high or something?

CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 42: PALIHUG

I: When you have to pass the fare...
II: ...and a fellow passenger is stonewalling...
III: ...raise you voice. If the fuck is still stonewalling...
IV: ...MAIM! KILL! BURN! ("HERE'S MY FARE, DON'T TELL YOU'RE NOT GOING TO PASS IT, YOU FUCKING ANIMAL!")

So, Ash, were you going to or coming from Velez?

CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 41: Heat

I: On the way to Ayala Center Cebu (Nice try, Ash!), Ash curses the heat.
II: In desperation, he ostensibly gets clothing for fitting.
III: Once he enters the fitting room...
IV: ...he wipes his sweat with it. Something tells me that ain't legal.

CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 40: Special Project

I: "So," Neyl (sic) asked, "did you get your grades?" "Yep, a flat one across the board," Ash replied. Neyl replies with a curse; he might have fucked it up somewhere (Mind out of the gutter, boys!).
II: Ash then suggests that Neyl informs the teacher and ask for a special project if possible.
III: Ten minutes later, Ash asks Neyl, "So, what happened?"
IV: "I got a flat one, duuuuude," Neyl replied, his face full of Barney's wing-wong. Ash could only scream in terror.

Come on, with the teacher being that depraved homosexual dinosaur, you knew this had to be coming (Get that mind out of the gutter, lads!).

After Khorne, Slaanesh.

CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 39: Bori-cat 1: Mic Test

WARNING: If you are an animal lover at best or an animal Nazi (*cough*PETA*cough*) at worst, GTFO. The Bori-cat arc is designed with Khorne's followers in mind. After all, Khorne care not from whence the blood flows, only that it flows.

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!



I: "This is Bori-cat, my cute and adorable pussy, and cats are said to have nine lives."
II: "Let's test that out, shall we?"
III: Enter the BANHAMMER OF DOOM!
IV: Now, eight lives remain.

"Bori-cat" is named after the Visayan term for "prostitute," that is, "borikat."

CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 38: Gamecity

I: "So, mates, let's play a game of DotA!"
II: At the shop, the banter and trash talk typical of Pinoy players reveals itself.
III: Once the game starts, however, the gang realizes they're a guy short. It is now a 3v2 match, because...
IV: ...Spiderman is jerking off to ant porn. Why? Because Rule 34, that's why!

Need I remind you again of the mature content this Web Comic contains? And yes, Game City is a Cebu-based computer shop.

CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 37: Pagdating ng panahon

I: "Dude, you owe me PhP 100 (around US$ 2.31 at today's exchange rate, US$ 1 = PhP 43.31)," Ash's classmate told him. Ash, claiming he was out of coin, said he couldn't pay.
II: Four days later, Ash claims to have forgotten his money at home.
III: Two weeks later, Ash still didn't pay up, having used the money during Semestral Break. Fucking idiot.
IV: Five months later, on Ash's birthday, Ash asks him to cancel the debt as a birthday gift.

"Pagdating ng panahon" is Tagalog for "When the time comes."

CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 36: Critical Backstab

I: So, Ash finally gets to go out with his crush.
II: Enter Tinky Winky, who asks her if they are already an item.
III: Her response? "No, we're just friends."
IV: Friendzoned Ash suddenly takes terrible, terrible damage! (Mortred's Coup de Grâce + Rikimaru's Back Stab = MAXIMUM FUCK.)

CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 35: Skin to Skin

I: One day, Ash walks to school with his crush...
II: ...and suddenly, their elbows touch.
III: When Ash returns to his buddies...
IV: ...he gushes out. A snarky comrade then asks him if he got a boner because of that. ("Nya otog otin doh?" translates to "So, dude, did you get a boner?")

"Touch by touch
You're my all time lover
Skin to skin
Come under my cover"
-- Touch by Touch (Joy)

CHUYASH COMICS: SPECIAL EPISODE: ALT-TAB feat. Aaee Kchuya, Yee Kchuya, Oh Pikoy

I: Back in Kayata Chuya's HQ (Kayata Chuya--Visayan for "Fucking Awesome," Ash's web group) Aaee and Yee are getting it on like a couple of horny lovebirds on their wedding night.
II: "God dammit," Ash swore. "Weren't they supposed to be playing sungka?!" After Pikoy suggests to Ash to check the two out...
III: ... he opens the door...
IV: ...to them looking something up on Google with the Alt + Tab key combo.

Were they really doing it while offering Porn for the Porn God? We can only speculate.

CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 34: Reklamador-dor-dor

I: From the hellish solar heat...
II: ...to the frigid moisture of rain...
III: ...and even the fouls stench of Spiderman's emissions...
IV: ...Ash will always find a reason to rant about the weather.

CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 33: What I wanna tell you

I: Enter Miss Bee... Ash's unwanted admirer.
II: Ash wishes to tell her something...
III: ...and Bee agrees, hoping that he confesses his love for her.
IV: You just had to say it, Ash! (Oh, dear... he has the shits.)

CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 32: Cancel ang SS

I: Ash composes a text message to his girlfriend...
II: ...with the text shown for our benefit.
III: "Dammit, that was a stupid SMS," he said, deleting it all the way.
IV: Thus, he goes "NVM, kthxbai."

"Special Skill," a.k.a. a character's ultimate move, not "Schutzstaffel!"

CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 31: Di pa ka mupass doh?

I: It's the exams. Spidermon is enjoying himself while Costa pulls a copypasta out of Ash...the fucking idiot.
II: Ash then proceeds to submit his answer to the teacher.
III: And once he submits his paper... wait for it... (Ash, you daft wanker!)
IV: OMG ZERG RUSH! KEKEKEKEKE!

"Di pa ka mupass, doh?" translates to "Aren't you going to submit (your paper), buddy?"

CHUYASH COMICS: 30th Episode Break

How do you advertise Ash's web group? Behold the answer...if you understand Visayan.

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CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 30: Edible Lips

I: So, how do you kiss a girl?
II: It's easy: close in...
III: ...and lock on.
IV: Going Hannibal Lecter on your girl is optional, but not recommended.

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CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 29: Masked Man

I: So, Ash, who is the mam behind Tobi's mask? (SPOILER: In the Naruto universe, it's actually Obito. Freudian excuse: being friendzoned by Rin. This is what the friendzone can do to a guy. Never mind, Darth Obito really is a thing.)
II: Naturally, the masked man refuses...
III: ...forcing Ash to unmask him.
IV: Holy shit, it's Barney, the depraved homosexual dinosaur!

"QL" is Cebuano shorthand for "Queensland," a chain of motels in Metro Cebu. "Retake or QL?" sounds almost like "Kwatro o kwarto?" a.k.a. sexual harassment by a teacher. That is some illegal shit Barney is doing.

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CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 28: One Look

I: Trekking from the town of Santander to Simala district in the town of Sibonga (a place best known as a pilgrimage site) is no mean feat. (81.7 klicks on foot? Damn, boy...)
II: As a result, meeting a good-looking lady...
III: ...is a welcome sight...
IV: ...if you don't mind that flat chest, you loli-popper! ("Wa ko'y boobies" is one way of saying "I'm flat-chested." Cue screams of "LOLI!" and a full squad [or more] of Militärpolizei on your tail!)

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CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 27: Omoyzing Spidermon

I: Real life isn't like DotA: There's no Aegis of the Immortal, no respawns, no TP scrolls, and only one life.
II: That life becomes endangered when you meet the receiving end of a DYNAMIC ENTRY! (GUY!)
III: And just when you begin to see the Pearly Gates...
IV: ...Spidermon comes to save the day! (So that's where his spider webs come from!)

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CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 26: BFF

I: "So, how did your date go?" Ash asked his best friend.
II: The friend gushes about it...
III: ...and Ash is happy for her.
IV: Ouch...somebody's stuck in the dreaded friendzone. Well, Ash, that makes two of us NOT ANYMORE.

No, I'm serious: As far as girls are concerned, I had a habit of ending up in the friendzone. Let me tell you: it sucked more balls than Sasha Grey at her peak. Now? I loved, I lost, I fathered a son. That's right, I'm a dad.

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CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 25: STUN BOGO!

I: Ash plans on getting the girl of his dreams...
II: ...and is on a roll until...
III: ...said girl passes by.
IV: MIRANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

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CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 24: Why do you live?

I: Like some students, Ash can be contemplative at times.
II: To go, or not to go, that is the question...
III: ...and the contemplation takes him, as if he was Hamlet in Shakespeare's work.
IV: Turns out he's in it for the ladies. Shakespeare has been subverted.

So... To report in or not to report in?

(Source Another one of the "lost in FB, found in G+" pics)

CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 23: Youre Irrestistable

I: Time for Ash to hit the hay after a long day of schoolwork... (never mind Naruto and Sasuke doing buttsex, it's still not as gay as Twi-fucking-light...unless you're a servant of Khorne. That Slaaneshi shit has to go!)
II: Ash enters his place, with the fridge and the (EXTRA HERETICAL! *BLAM!*) Bieber poster. (You...you...DOUBLE HERETIC! *BLAM!*)
III: He passes by the siren of his place, that tempting desktop...
IV: ...and offers PORN FOR THE PORN GOD! SMUT FOR THE SMUT THRONE! (Cue the Ordo Hereticus knocking on his door.)

If you're wondering, that's the exact title of this episode of CHUYASH COMICS, never mind the Warhammer 40k-related snark in this post.

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CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 22: Blooooow job

I: Ash takes a stroll while scratching his nuts...
II: ...when suddenly, a strong wind appears. It is apparently strong enough to nearly strip him of his hat in addition to making his penis wiggle.
III: This give Ash an idea worth "Me Gusta:"
IV: Grab a black blanket and channel The Goddamn Batman.

Yes, the wind is giving him a literal blow job. Get your fooking minds out of the gutter, you tossers!

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CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 21: Gagawin ko ang lahat para sayo, sayo makauli

I: So Ash asks permission from his parents before meeting with his friends, never mind the kilometric request.
II: His parents tell him to just come back early while in the middle of le sexy time. Nice.
III: At the party, shit happens...
IV: ...and Ash does return early...early in the morning that is!

The title is Tagalog, loosely translating to "I will do everything for you, just to have you back."

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CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 20: Smile sa bao

I: Sometimes...
II: ...the simplest joys in life...
III: ...come when you least expect it.
IV: When they do, enjoy them.

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CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 19: SAY NO TO ABORTION

Remember when I told you about mature content in these comics? Let's just say this makes Episode 10 look average. Hell, even the title is screaming!

I: Besides the disclaimer, what else do you see?
II: That's right: a bored couple. What will they do for fun?
III: "Let's make a baby," Ash says.
IV: In the making, however... Ah, sweet merciful Khorne, literal minded much?!

You may not see it, but it takes me all of my self-restraint to avoid lashing out further. There is a reason "Dead Baby Comedy" redirects to "Black Comedy" in TV Tropes.

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CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 18: Kaya mo yan, Kayamukat

I: It's Calculus, and Ash is ready for the test.
II: All he needs to do is to receive the test paper from his professor...
III: ...and he's fucked. ("Paghikog nalang" translates to "just kill yourself.")
IV: SQUAD BROKEN!

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CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 17: Unang Tikim

I: So this curious bugger...
II: ...does something particularly racy (the title's not helping here)...
III: ...and just when it sounds like he's about to burst...
IV: ...he does. This guy just popped a zit near his belly button. And you thought Ash was jacking off, weren't you? Come on people, don't bother denying it!

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CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 16: Snuggle Me

I: Sometimes, life has you by the balls...
II: ...and things seem to always go to shit...
III: ...but just remember something, dear friends:
IV: YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

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CHUYASH COMICS: 15th Episode Break

Every fifteen episodes, Chuyash Comics takes a break and displays something...different...before continuing with its regular programming.

PROTIP: That's not a beer belly.

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CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 15: How to be seen on TV

I: So, how does one dismount from your jeepney, buddy? Option 1: Knock on the ride's ceiling.
II: Option 2: Knock on the ceiling rails with something metallic.
III: Option 3 (It's a typo, I know): tell the driver you want to dismount. Hopefully, you'll dismount in a place that doesn't run afoul of any traffic enforcers.
IV: Option 4: Get seen on TV. Dismount while the jeep is running. "Ouch" does not quite make it. (Insert "To Be Continued" here.)

CITOM stands for (Cebu) City Traffic Operations Management. If you've been in Cebu City, these guys are the traffic cops.

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