Tuesday, May 28, 2013
CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 22: Blooooow job
I: Ash takes a stroll while scratching his nuts...
II: ...when suddenly, a strong wind appears. It is apparently strong enough to nearly strip him of his hat in addition to making his penis wiggle.
III: This give Ash an idea worth "Me Gusta:"
IV: Grab a black blanket and channel The Goddamn Batman.
Yes, the wind is giving him a literal blow job. Get your fooking minds out of the gutter, you tossers!
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CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 21: Gagawin ko ang lahat para sayo, sayo makauli
I: So Ash asks permission from his parents before meeting with his friends, never mind the kilometric request.
II: His parents tell him to just come back early while in the middle of le sexy time. Nice.
III: At the party, shit happens...
IV: ...and Ash does return early...early in the morning that is!
The title is Tagalog, loosely translating to "I will do everything for you, just to have you back."
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CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 20: Smile sa bao
I: Sometimes...
II: ...the simplest joys in life...
III: ...come when you least expect it.
IV: When they do, enjoy them.
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CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 19: SAY NO TO ABORTION
Remember when I told you about mature content in these comics? Let's just say this makes Episode 10 look average. Hell, even the title is screaming!
I: Besides the disclaimer, what else do you see?
II: That's right: a bored couple. What will they do for fun?
III: "Let's make a baby," Ash says.
IV: In the making, however... Ah, sweet merciful Khorne, literal minded much?!
You may not see it, but it takes me all of my self-restraint to avoid lashing out further. There is a reason "Dead Baby Comedy" redirects to "Black Comedy" in TV Tropes.
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CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 18: Kaya mo yan, Kayamukat
I: It's Calculus, and Ash is ready for the test.
II: All he needs to do is to receive the test paper from his professor...
III: ...and he's fucked. ("Paghikog nalang" translates to "just kill yourself.")
IV: SQUAD BROKEN!
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CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 17: Unang Tikim
I: So this curious bugger...
II: ...does something particularly racy (the title's not helping here)...
III: ...and just when it sounds like he's about to burst...
IV: ...he does. This guy just popped a zit near his belly button. And you thought Ash was jacking off, weren't you? Come on people, don't bother denying it!
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CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 16: Snuggle Me
I: Sometimes, life has you by the balls...
II: ...and things seem to always go to shit...
III: ...but just remember something, dear friends:
IV: YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
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CHUYASH COMICS: 15th Episode Break
Every fifteen episodes, Chuyash Comics takes a break and displays something...different...before continuing with its regular programming.
PROTIP: That's not a beer belly.
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CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 15: How to be seen on TV
I: So, how does one dismount from your jeepney, buddy? Option 1: Knock on the ride's ceiling.
II: Option 2: Knock on the ceiling rails with something metallic.
III: Option 3 (It's a typo, I know): tell the driver you want to dismount. Hopefully, you'll dismount in a place that doesn't run afoul of any traffic enforcers.
IV: Option 4: Get seen on TV. Dismount while the jeep is running. "Ouch" does not quite make it. (Insert "To Be Continued" here.)
CITOM stands for (Cebu) City Traffic Operations Management. If you've been in Cebu City, these guys are the traffic cops.
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CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 14: Bad Cheetah
I: "Dammit I have an exam. Time to prepare my cheating gear."
II: Naruto references abound. The first of two MO's is a particularly common one...
III: ...and the second refers to secret cheat sheets.
IV: Ultimately, however, Ash lectures against cheating in school. TL;DR (and didn't understand because it's not in English): Cheating gets you nowhere.
"Bad Cheetah" is a pun.
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CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 13: Di ko ganahan muamot
I: Like a diligent student, Ash proceeds to his responsibilities...
II: ...turning down an offer from his buddies.
III: Ash relents when Blondie says that the drinks are on him, though...
IV: ...and they're all hammered. If you think that was creepy, you haven't seen anything yet, amigo.
"Di ko ganahan muamot" translates to "I don't want to chip in."
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CHUYASH COMICS: Episode 12: Bohok nga pina manok-manok
I: So, Ash is finished with his bath. Time for a good hairstyle!
II: He then looks at the mirror as he styles his hair.
III: Now that's he's ready, it's time to go to some hip happenings...
IV: ...until a strong wind fucks over his hairstyle. Tough shit, Ash.
"Bohok nga pina manok-manok" loosely translates to "Hair styled to look like a chicken." In addition, note the shirt. It is a stylized form of the logo for Ash's web group, Kayata Chuya, which literally translates to "Fucking Awesome."
"Kayata," from the root word "kayat," which means "encourage" in Tagalog, but "fuck" in Visayan. (You know, just like "libog" is "confused" in Visayan and "horny" in Tagalog?)
"Chuya" means "cool; awesome."
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